My take on the United Squad

1. David De Gea – guilty of come clangers but has proved his class in the second half of season. Will go from strength to strength next year.

3. Patrice Evra – worst season in a United shirt. Lack of competition has meant complacency has set in. A new LB is needed to give Pat a kick on the arse.

4. Phil Jones – good first season BUT he is not a centre mid player!

5. Rio Ferdinand – Waning years but has kept his fitness. Will probably play less next year but crucial for tutoring younger defenders.

6. Johnny Evans – made a massive improvement but in my opinion is not a United quality player. Will stay.

7. Michael Owen – goodbye and thanks for nothing.

8. Anderson – dodgy hamstrings and dodgy performances may mean he is on his way out. A pity as has not fulfilled potential.

9. Dimitar Berbatov -Feel sorry for him but SAF should have never signed him. A great footballer that does not fit United’s style of quick wing play and counter attack football. Hopefully he will leave.

10. Wayne Rooney – Top Scorer.

11. Ryan Giggs – He can shag and do what he wants as he has earned it but time to retire him.

12. Chris Smalling – Still al lot of naivety in his play but will mature into one hell of a player.

13. Ji Sung Park – Goobye Park. Awful footballer that can run loads but cannot pass, shoot, head the ball. If he can run so much then he can run the Marathon for South Korea at the Olympics.

14. Chicharito – Injuries and second season syndrome have hindered his progress yet he scores 11. The more you feed him the more he scores.

15. Nemanja Vidic – Cruciate injury meant he was out for 8 months. Expect him back to his beastly best next season.

16. Micheal Carrick – slow and ponderous but needs to stay as we have no other CM’s. More goals will be great. If United sign any other CM’s I expect Carrick to play less.

17. Nani – OK season but injury meant he never hit last year’s explosive heights.

18. Ashley Young – Still wondering why has was signed. He has not contributed much and always wants the extra touch. Too much money paid means he’ll be here next year.

19. Danny Welbeck – great season but like Young always looking for an extra touch. Would score a shit load more if he were more decisive.

20. Fabio – SAF has already said he would go on loan.

21 Rafael – breakthrough season but very positionally naive. Needs to work on that or he will follow his brother out.

22. Paul Scholes – Great to see him back but sad that he was recalled back. Indicative of United’s dire need of CM’s. Should go back into retirement with Ginger head held high.

23. Tom Cleverley – Needs to develop ankles not made of glass!

24. Darren Fletcher – Hope he recovers from illness.

25. Antonio Valencia – United’s player of the Season.

Players I think United should sell: Kuszczak, Macheda, Diouf, Park, Berbatov, Owen, Anderson and Young (though this last one will not go).

Sunderland 0 Manchester United 1

Match corresponding to the Premier League and played at The Stadium of Light.

United did what they had to do, win. Missed a shed load of chances but alas Fortune, being the fickle mistress she is, deserted Sir Alex Ferguson after many years of being bedfellows. Contrary to all the accumulated footballing knowledge of the good and the wise Queens Park Rangers were 1-2 up with the clock at 90 minutes played but like that muggy evening on the 26th May 1999 at the Nou Camp in Barcelona its not over until its over. City scored two more goals, Aguero’s a belter to pip United to the title on goal difference. What ever deal was struck with the Dark Powers on the 26th May 1999 was called in today. In all honesty United should have had this wrapped up by last weekend. Defeat against Wigan, letting two two goal leads slip at Old Trafford against Everton. Allowing Blackburn Rovers to win on the 31st December and allowing Newcastle to draw a game in which they should have tonked all have contributed to this seasons lack of title. Yet one should not lose sight that this squad is perhaps the weakest in many years. It lacks leadership and has suffered through injury. Players have come to the end of their useful top shelf use and should be sold or retired. The Glazers leeching the club for interest payments need to invest and Sir Alex, graceful in defeat, needs to make sure he signs the right players. No more footy now until August, except the Champions League final next week and England’s usual cock up in the Euro’s. Premier League is back in August and hopefully the Reds will have a new left back and two centre mids to add to the squad.

Manchester United Team

1   David De Gea

3   Patrice Evra

5   Rio Ferdinand

6   Johnny Evans

4   Phil Jones

18 Ashley Young

16 Micheal Carrick

22 Paul Scholes

25 Antonia Valencia

11 Ryan Giggs

10 Wayne Rooney (Goal)


Nani on for Ashley Young

Skyrim: A New Life

Masters and apprentices streamed into the Hall of Elements. They ran to the prone Tolfdir and some of the younger ones went to assist Se’rith. She was full of concern for her mentor as well, as she hobbled towards him. She looked down at Ancano’s frozen corpse, and even in death his visage still held that look of supreme arrogance it carried in life. She was relieved to see Tolfdir respond to Colette’s restoration magics, ‘not as useless now’ she could just imagine her saying. Tolfdir stirred weakly and opened his eyes. As they locked with Se’rith’s he nodded slightly and the corners of his mouth turned upwards in a smile. Thats when the Psijic’s appeared.

In the now customary blur of time shift and grey light three of the Order materialised in the Hall. Two positioned themselves around the now still Eye while the third sought Se’rith. He smiled warmly at her and congratulated her on her efforts and success. Indeed he called her the saviour of the College and he could not see anyone else better to lead the College. Se’rith was taken aback, her the Arch Mage. She was just a fledgling magic user with no experience but the Psijic Monk was adamant. Tolfdir also added his consent, he had weakly got to his feet and had made his way to Se’rith and the monk. Adding his endorsement he warmly clasped the Dunmer on the shoulder adding his support. Several of the Masters nodded their agreement while most of the Apprentices dis likewise, Brelyna positively jumping with glee. Several of the older members, Sergius and Nirya in particualr, stole jealous glances in her direction but with Tolfdir being so vocal in his support they also had to acquiesce. Even Urag seemed pleased as he took her small ebony hand in his large green paw. He still had to drop that despite being an Arch Mage he’d still skin her little posterior should she damage any of his books! As to the Eye? Well the Psijic’s said that Tamriel was not yet ready for power of this magnitude and that they would care for the Eye until the world had matured, to use their phrase. They cast a spell that made the Eye spin rapidly and turn a blue hue. In a flash of grey blue light they disappeared, Psijics and Eye was well!

Se’rith then called an immediate conclave of gathered wizards. She was honoured to be the new Arch Mage but was too much of a realist to realise that she lacked the experience and foresight to lead the College. As such she would be delegating the day to day running to TOlfdir. She did however have a vision for the College. The first one was to help the people of Winterhold as much as possible. She had met a lot of hostility in her travels towards the College and wizards in general. She wanted to educate the Nords and wanted them to see the College as an ally rather than an enemy. She would make her first official visit to the local Jarl soon to establish a line of communication. College members were to be seen regularly in Winterhold and use their magics to help the populace. Being arrogant and aloof would help antagonise the situation more. Se’rith told Colette that her skills in particular would be a great asset, Colette’s breast swelled with pride as she was often the butt of jokes of her fellow Masters. Secondly she would travel to Solitude to talk to the General Tulius, the Imperial Commander there. Though she was aware that the College was apolitical the threatening Civil War would rend Skyrim, and possibly the Empire apart. As such she would pledge some covert support against the Stormcloaks but work up to an alliance against the Thalmor. Her last instruction regarded the Aldmeri Dominion. Any Thalmor agents or Ambassadors seeking entry into the College would be given one warning. Refusal would lead to imprisonment in the Midden. From now on the College would be free of Thalmor interference. This last statement was made to thunderous applause. She dismissed the mages but asked Tolfdir to accompany her to her new quarters were she embraced the old man warmly and then broke into tears. One danger was over, a whole plethora of them were about to reveal themselves.

Se’rith, Arch Mage of Winterhold.

CUT SCENE – Meanwhile over the skies of southern Skyrim, near a place called Helgen…